A Dearth of Material


Today was a very odd day. I slept in and had very disturbing dreams late in my sleep cycle. I was lost in a city that I didn’t recognize and the further and further I got from my point of origin the more I started to recognize things in the dream (the dream and the reality of the town that I thought I was in couldn’t have been more different, but my brain told me it was this real town from my past, so my subconscious ran with it). The problem was that my parents were at the point of origin, and I was really running out of juice to walk back, so my quest then became to find a phone that I could call them on and get picked up, now that I could tell them where I was. The problem was that I couldn’t find a pay phone and no one seemed to have a mobile phone. I finally found some kid who handed me what he called a phone, but what my brain recognized as a Palm Pilot V (the thinner, metal-skinned version) in white. I fumbled to try and find the phone on the device, and that’s when I was very abruptly woken up by a phone call from an automated system trying to sell me an aftermarket warranty on a car I no longer own.

I tried shaking the dream but had no luck in doing so, and I was in a fog. I managed to get out of bed and get my vitals done and my meds taken before going back to bed for another attempt at sleep. I got maybe ten minutes of shuteye before my brain kicked in and told me I had a checklist to try and accomplish, so I got up and tried to start my day. I was exceptionally drowsy and the fog persisted until my wife came home from lunch.

Today was supposed to be a day that I drove in the afternoon due to a therapist’s appointment, but we both came to the conclusion that I didn’t have any business behind the wheel of a car, so we sent a text to my therapist cancelling the appointment, I had a quick lunch, and very soon after my wife left to go back to work I went back to bed.

I was in bed for about 45 minutes this time, and don’t remember any dreaming from that period, but when I awoke again I was still in a fog from the earlier dream.

The fog eventually lifted, but the dream has stuck with me all day long. Usually I don’t remember my dreams at all, and if I do, it’s only fleeting bits here and there, so remembering this one in the detail that I do is very unusual for me.

Other than that, it’s been a completely unremarkable day. I’ll have completed my checklist again today – I think this is day nine of the new streak – but other than that there really isn’t that much to report from the day. It’s kind of like I was going through the motions all day long.

The therapist’s appointment has been rescheduled for tomorrow. Here’s hoping that I can wake up alert and ready to go tomorrow.

Bits and Pieces


This is going to be disjointed because I have a lot on my mind today and none of it really connects with anything else, so this is going to be a bit of a brain purge. Sorry for the choppiness of today’s post.

I’ve been lethargic all morning long. Woke up, did my new morning habit from The Fabulous app (found out that it’s actually called that, even though everything in the Google Play Store says just “Fabulous”), did the rest of my morning ritual, ate breakfast, and went back to bed. Woke up about an hour later, still tired, and basically forced myself to start in on my checklist items for the morning. Now I’ve got a headache that’s making me feel even worse. Yay.

I’ve been having weird dreams at an increased rate. I’ve also been remembering a good deal of them, which is highly unusual for me. Not sure what this means; also not sure if it means anything. There’s not been a change in my medication to trigger it, so I don’t know what’s causing the weirdness. I just wish it would stop; a lot of them are disconcertingly, wake-me-up weird, and I dislike that feeling.

My birthday is in a week, and for the first time my wife has told me “you have plans” and won’t tell me what they are. I’m very confused by this, since my birthday falls squarely in the middle of her transition week from weekly temp pay to biweekly permanent pay and money is extremely scarce right now, so I have no clue what’s up her sleeve.

According to Duolingo, I’m 47% fluent in Spanish now. I really don’t feel anywhere hear that fluent. Part of that is the long break that i took before restarting the program recently; part of that is that I’m not thinking in Spanish, so I’m not getting any practice outside of answering the questions (mostly) correctly and going from there.

Dream Theater: The College and the Baby


I was dreaming that I was moving into my college dorm room, only I had a baby that I had to trust to a stranger while I went and enrolled and got settled. The college was a maze, an older institution with older buildings and older furnishings, and I kept getting lost. Finally I got settled in but then didn’t know where I had left my baby. I remember being in a panic about where she might be, and I started searching the campus. I took the time to stop at a Texas roadhouse-style restaurant to eat (prime rib, which was huge and cheap) and then went back to looking for her. I finally found her in a hospital – again, an older facility with older medical principles and customs in place – but she was safe and sound and doing well. I remember being happy that we were together, even though the future was completely uncertain, before waking up.

I’m usually not much one for analyzing dreams, but it’s difficult to not correlate this to the situation I found myself in regarding my daughter for most of her life. When I was made aware of her existence at age four, I tried to take responsibility for my part in raising her, but was politely told that her mother wanted to do it on her own, so I stepped out of the picture. I was always curious what became of her, and finally I looked her up on the internet and eventually contacted her. We’ve since started a relationship that exceeded my wildest expectations when I first contacted her, and I couldn’t be happier.

I’m also not much one for remembering my dreams, so the fact that this one stuck is unusual.

Disclosure: I woke up from the dream at 5:30 am to write down the dream part of this, then went back to sleep until just a few minutes ago.