Perfect Storm

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Right now I’m in a headspace that I haven’t been in for some time.

For starters, today has been spent unsuccessfully fighting a persistent, nagging, unproductive cough left over from the cold. I feel constantly just on the edge of a coughing fit that makes me dizzy and causes pain in my right shoulder during the bad coughing jags. That’s been a wet blanket on my whole day, and honestly there’s nothing I can do about that except continuing to throw cough medicine at it and hope that it works for a while.

I’ve spent half the afternoon and evening being supremely frustrated at my algebra homework, and that’s led me to avoid reaching out to someone for help with what’s got me stumped. My brain’s been telling me “you go see the instructor tomorrow morning anyway, bring it up then” when there are multiple people that have offered to help me with any questions I may have. Continuing to avoid the situation has only served to make me more irritated at myself, which just serves to lock me into place regarding reaching out to someone. To top it all off, I’ve been dealing with someone online that I really dislike, and my mood from earlier has got me feeling quite confrontational – something that anyone that knows me well can tell you is very much not me – which is further aggravating my own anger at myself.

It seems practically everyone and everything is capable of getting under my skin tonight, and I’m apparently leading the charge.

It’s been months since I felt like this. I used to feel this way fairly regularly not that long ago. Since my mental illnesses have subsided in recent months, I’ve been virtually symptom-free, and it’s been glorious. To be going through this now, after such a long time of not experiencing this anger and frustration, feels like a bit of a setback.

But.

I know that what I’m going through is temporary. I know that even though I’ve basically lost most of today in productive study, I’m not quite yet in over my head, although my weekend plans are at risk if I don’t get this resolved quickly. The assignment that I feel so far behind on isn’t due until a week from tomorrow, so there’s time to recover, even though I’ve only barely started the assignment. (Note to self: time management skills are your friend. Use them next time.) Tomorrow morning instead of going into the classroom close to a half hour early, I’ll stop off at my instructor’s office to get things figured out, even though that means admitting I’m pretty much behind schedule. It’s not the end of the world. And my online frustration can be mitigated by not participating in and ignoring the conversation that’s got me so worked up. That’s an easy fix.

So while they’ve taken a little bit of time to get on board, my coping mechanisms are finally in place and my frustration and anger is easing off. Writing this post helped immensely with taking the edge off my emotions. Besides, the evening’s almost over, so it’s time for me to work on unwinding before bed and letting go of all that stuff that’s trying to ruin my day.

Tomorrow is a fresh start. I should be back to normal then.

Medical Update, Dr. McCoy

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Dammit Jim, I’m a blogger, not a doctor. (Okay, enough with the pop culture references, but I’ll give a shiny Internet cookie to the first person that can tell me the song I lifted the title of today’s post from – song title and artist, please. Bonus points if you provide a YouTube link.)

So there will be a doctor visit this afternoon at 4:00 pm. The galloping crud has started manifesting as a low-grade fever and sinus infection in my wife, and since it’s obvious we’re both suffering under the same thing, I’m riding shotgun on my wife’s visit.

My coughing fits have gotten slightly worse, and I’m at the point of coughing myself lightheaded and dizzy every time I cough, so I’m taking Delsym to try and alleviate that particular symptom. Outside of the scratchy throat and general lethargy I’m not exhibiting any other symptoms, so who knows, maybe I’ve dodged the worst of this stuff.

Sorry I’m not more talkative today, but I just want to go lie down and rest. It’s been a busy morning already.

Back Off Man, I Have Tea

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Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a hardcore coffee drinker. It is not uncommon for me to drink the equivalent of a pot of coffee a day, although the majority of that is decaf, since I have sleep issues and don’t need the caffeine after a certain hour of the day. It is a very rare thing for me to drink tea as a result, and usually that’s only when I’m under the weather.

Well, I have tea.

This started out as a tickle in the throat and has evolved into a small, personal volcano that’s erupting only when I attempt to swallow and also at all other times as well, but especially when I’m trying to swallow. This has, as a result, completely knocked me on my butt. I am exhausted, I am weary, my joints ache even more than usual, and very recently this has started to manifest itself into coughing fits. (Anyone that knows me knows that I cough loud and long and hard, very frequently to the point that I’m lightheaded and feel like I’m going to pass out, which is why I try to avoid coughing while standing – I prefer not to collapse on the floor.) I’ve taken medication to try and alleviate the symptoms, but nothing is working quite like the tea and the occasional bowl of soup.

My wife thinks this is allergy related. I recently stopped taking my daily Claritin and within days this happened. Same with my wife, she stopped at the same time and she’s also suffering with a sore throat and an incessantly runny nose. The exhaustion and the joint pain has me wondering, however. Both of us have had our flu shots, so it would be unlikely that it’s the flu, but a cold isn’t out of the question, especially since we were out and social and in close proximity to a lot of our friends this weekend.

After leaving this post alone for a little while, I’ve had plenty of time for my last round of medication to kick in, and I’m feeling a little better. My wife has taken Sudafed PE and her symptoms seem to be dissipating as well, so that’s a good thing.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is better. I’m headed back to my tea.