Doesn’t This Thing Ever Leave?

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Remember that cold that I was dealing with a week ago? It got better. For about three days. And today, I am dying. I’m coughing my brains out, my nose is alternately congested and runny, my throat is sore, I’m utterly exhausted, and I can barely keep my eyes open. I think I was ready for bed at around 6:00 tonight.

Today’s been another productive day at the algebra mines. Had some troubles but at the end of the day I’d gotten answers to all my questions, at least all the ones that I can do over the computer. (I still have three graph-related questions, two with drawing the graph and one with reading it – I could try scanning that page in and sending it out but the scans aren’t the best quality and the detail necessary to accurately read this graph gets lost in the process.) This time management system seems to be working rather well for me. It’s only day two, though, so we’ll see how things continue to unfold.

Right now I just want to go crawl into bed and sleep this cold away. Wish it worked that way.

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Perfect Storm

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Right now I’m in a headspace that I haven’t been in for some time.

For starters, today has been spent unsuccessfully fighting a persistent, nagging, unproductive cough left over from the cold. I feel constantly just on the edge of a coughing fit that makes me dizzy and causes pain in my right shoulder during the bad coughing jags. That’s been a wet blanket on my whole day, and honestly there’s nothing I can do about that except continuing to throw cough medicine at it and hope that it works for a while.

I’ve spent half the afternoon and evening being supremely frustrated at my algebra homework, and that’s led me to avoid reaching out to someone for help with what’s got me stumped. My brain’s been telling me “you go see the instructor tomorrow morning anyway, bring it up then” when there are multiple people that have offered to help me with any questions I may have. Continuing to avoid the situation has only served to make me more irritated at myself, which just serves to lock me into place regarding reaching out to someone. To top it all off, I’ve been dealing with someone online that I really dislike, and my mood from earlier has got me feeling quite confrontational – something that anyone that knows me well can tell you is very much not me – which is further aggravating my own anger at myself.

It seems practically everyone and everything is capable of getting under my skin tonight, and I’m apparently leading the charge.

It’s been months since I felt like this. I used to feel this way fairly regularly not that long ago. Since my mental illnesses have subsided in recent months, I’ve been virtually symptom-free, and it’s been glorious. To be going through this now, after such a long time of not experiencing this anger and frustration, feels like a bit of a setback.

But.

I know that what I’m going through is temporary. I know that even though I’ve basically lost most of today in productive study, I’m not quite yet in over my head, although my weekend plans are at risk if I don’t get this resolved quickly. The assignment that I feel so far behind on isn’t due until a week from tomorrow, so there’s time to recover, even though I’ve only barely started the assignment. (Note to self: time management skills are your friend. Use them next time.) Tomorrow morning instead of going into the classroom close to a half hour early, I’ll stop off at my instructor’s office to get things figured out, even though that means admitting I’m pretty much behind schedule. It’s not the end of the world. And my online frustration can be mitigated by not participating in and ignoring the conversation that’s got me so worked up. That’s an easy fix.

So while they’ve taken a little bit of time to get on board, my coping mechanisms are finally in place and my frustration and anger is easing off. Writing this post helped immensely with taking the edge off my emotions. Besides, the evening’s almost over, so it’s time for me to work on unwinding before bed and letting go of all that stuff that’s trying to ruin my day.

Tomorrow is a fresh start. I should be back to normal then.

Somewhat Back to Normal

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Today I only had nagging cold symptoms, nothing bad, and I managed to catch a few naps during the day – probably good that I did, since I was up at 4:30 am for absolutely no reason whatsoever. It was a productive day. My wife and I split the workload to get a lot of nagging errands taken care of before the week starts.

It’s going to be another short post, since I’m starting to wind down from the day, but hopefully I’ll have more to write about tomorrow.

From Patient to Nurse and Back Again

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I still have a cold. I’ve spent the day in and out of bed, although I was largely symptom-free until later in the evening. Which is good, because I’ve had to take care of my wife, who had to have a tooth pulled this morning.

I like playing nursemaid to her, although she’s not fond of it. She tends to feel that she should be able to do anything she wants up to the brink of death, and it’s sometimes hard to help her with things beyond what I would normally do during the course of a regular day. I have to remind her that if the tables were turned, and I was the one that had the tooth pulled, she’d be telling me to take it easy while trying to stay as pain-free as possible.

I haven’t really done that much beyond what I’d normally do, to be honest. I’ve gotten her pain meds, I’ve refilled her drinks, I made dinner tonight – all things that I’d normally do (to be fair, she usually cooks and I usually clean, but tonight I’m pulling double duty). I think the issue is that she knows she’s not at her best and it frustrates her that I’m doing things because she can’t, not because I’m being nice.

Right now, my nose has slammed shut and my eyes are burning and I can barely see, while her pain is at 2/10, so we’re back to her helping me out. Roles like this change frequently between us, depending on who’s having the worse day. With both of us suffering from multiple mental illnesses, our situation can rapidly turn on a dime, so we have to be prepared to step up and take care of one another.

While she tends to dislike any situation where I’m doing more than she is, it’s a system that has worked for us for many years. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Not Much Progress

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Once again, the day’s basically been lost to the cold. I haven’t really accomplished much of anything today except rest, and even that was sporadic.

This is where I’d usually share some wisdom or insight that I have about life in general, and here is tonight’s tidbit.

Don’t catch cold.

I’m going to medicate myself and go lie down now. Theoretically I have a radio show tomorrow night, but we’ll see how that transpires.

Cold Report

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The cold is getting worse. I feel mostly fine, just run down – but my voice is completely gone. I couldn’t do my radio show tonight because of it. I should have spent more time in bed today, although I didn’t really do that much today, so technically I took it easy. But I think tomorrow is going to have me in bed more than I was today. When I stop to think about it, I really do feel unwell, and I should listen to my body when it says to sleep. Which is what it’s doing now, so I’m calling it a night. I doubt I’m going to have much to say tomorrow, but hopefully I’ll be feeling better.

Today Is My Friday

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Today I went to algebra in the morning and biology in the evening. I was running on two hours of sleep, and it was all I could do to get through the day, since I had a quiz that I was studying for in biology. (I wound up sleeping most of the afternoon away. Still think I did okay on the quiz. Not perfect, but passing.) This finishes my need to leave the house for the rest of the week. There’s no plans for the weekend, save for my radio show tomorrow evening and the show I do with my wife on Saturday evening. I’m in until Monday morning, and while I do have some homework to do during those four days, I can take it easy the rest of the time.

Which is good, because I think I’m coming down with a cold.

My nose is stuffy and I have this terrible scratch in my throat that’s accompanied by a near-constant urge to cough. We thought it was allergies because I went several days without my allergy medicine, but I’ve been back on it for a couple days now and things seem to be getting slightly worse instead of better.

I am self-prescribing bed rest for as much of tomorrow as I can to try and catch up a little bit on the sleep issue. I’ve been getting somewhere around 5-6 hours of sleep a night for the past several days, and that starts to show eventually. Besides, rest will do the cold good.

Speaking of rest, I should head that way now.