#577 – Lazy Day and Long Streaks


Woke up this morning at around 9:00 – unsurprising since I was still awake at 2:00 am – and headed to a friend’s house to visit with her for a while, and to play with her new foster kittens. I spent a couple hours at her place, then headed back home. The kittens are adorable and it was good to spend time with my friend.

My wife has been dealing with a headache all day, so there were some naps interspersed with working on the playlist for tonight’s show. Eventually I headed to the pharmacy to pick up a couple prescriptions and to the store to grab something for dinner tonight, came home, made dinner, and did the show. Tonight was Cards Against Humanity night but because of server errors we were only able to get one game in during our three hour long show.

Tomorrow is going to be hectic. I have a quiz to finish up for algebra by Monday morning, so I’ll be working on that, in addition to doing laundry and the weekly grocery shopping.

Eventually my wife lost her headache but I found it, so I apologize today’s post isn’t any longer than it is.

Oh, one last thing. Know those checklists that I try to accomplish every day? Yesterday I hit 180 days straight of completing my checklist. Kinda proud of that, considering how different things are now that I’m in school. So that happened.

Back On The Air


My wife and I were back on the air tonight for the first time since the second Saturday of September. I’ve done shows off and on during that time, but for whatever reasons, be they plans for the day, dental work, being preempted for a Halloween event, being on vacation, being sick, or what have you, we just haven’t been able to be on the air on Saturday nights for a while.

We did a stompy show tonight – that means industrial and Goth music made up our playlist – and it was well-received. I missed being able to be goofy on the air. (My Thursday shows are pretty straight-laced and straightforward, without much room to be creative.) Next week we should be on the air again, and that will be Cards Against Humanity, a game we play with our listeners through an online emulator every first Saturday of the month.

Otherwise, the day was pretty low-key. There were naps, there was gaming, there were chores. Tomorrow will be a day of studying in preparation for my biology midterm on Monday night.

A Wondrous Show


Tonight my wife and I went on the air with a special show. First off, it was the return of Cards Against Humanity, something that we used to do on the first Saturday of the month but haven’t done for various reasons since December. We use a CAH emulator to be able to play the game online with listeners from all around the world. We played three games tonight, and had a fantastic turnout – 15 players at one point! With a crowd that big, we set the win total at 5, to keep the game from dragging on. Folks had a lot of fun, though, and it was great to get back into the first Saturday habit again.

We also had a special playlist tonight. I was inspired by the women-only showings of Wonder Woman going on at Alamo Drafthouse, and thought we should do something to help celebrate that spirit, so tonight’s theme was Ladies’ Night. With the exception of the obvious opening song, Kool and the Gang’s “Ladies’ Night,” every artist in the show had a female lead. We played everything from Joan Jett to Donna Summer to the Dixie Chicks to Eartha Kitt to TLC. We had a great turnout and I think folks really enjoyed the theme. Makes me want to do something like this again sometime.

Other than the show, however, it’s been a very low-key day. I’ve been tired most of the day so there have been multiple naps throughout the day. Need to get my rest in, though – tomorrow morning we go see Wonder Woman for ourselves and see just how good this movie really is. I’m really looking forward to it, and I know my wife has been waiting for this movie for years, so she’s beyond excited about it. Tomorrow’s blog post will likely be my (spoiler-free) review of the movie. Stay tuned.

I Am A Bad Person and I’m Going To Hell


No no, it’s not what you think. It’s actually been a good day today. As I write this, I’m in the middle of a radio show which is going well. It’s the first Saturday of the month, which means that it’s time to play Cards Against Humanity. Hence today’s post title.

We’re playing with people from literally all over the world (a couple of our players are from the UK) through an online CAH emulator called Pretend You’re Xyzzy. It’s in beta, so there are the occasional bugs, but it’s still a great time.

Anyway, new game’s started, so time for me to get back to being a bad person.

Well, the show is over, the games are over, and our guests have gone home. Today’s actually been a pretty decent day. Blood sugar was good this morning, which was a concern – it crashed last night around 2:00 am, so we were up for a little while taking care of that. That’s the third time in as many weeks, and it has me concerned. I’ll be talking to the doctor about that when I see her later this month. For now, looks like we’re going to have to be extra careful about what I’m eating and drinking.

Looking forward to tomorrow for some unbeknownst reason. Just going to be glad when it gets here. Weird feeling.

All Good Things …


… must come to an end, and so it was for the Great Checklist Streak of 2015.

For those who are new to my blog or my social media accounts that I notify of each post, I am on disability for PTSD, borderline personality disorder, and bipolar disorder, and suffer from a handful of other physical afflictions such as diabetes and high blood pressure. I find it difficult to remember from day to day the various things that I have to take or do or log in order to maintain my health, and so I’ve devised a system where I keep track of my day with a series of alarms and with the help of two Moleskine notebooks, one squared and the other ruled. In the squared notebook, I keep track of my various required regular daily activities, like medications and taking vitals, in a checklist format, along with a few added activities such as writing and socialization (important to develop in someone suffering from an anxiety disorder). In that same notebook, I also track the results of my vitals – my daily weight, and my blood glucose and pressure readings throughout the day – so I can share them with my doctor. In the ruled notebook, I keep track of my master to-do list (when my list is done for the day, I can then go to the squared notebook and check off “to-do”) as well as basic notes to help me remember the three good things that I write about at the end of my day (also a separate check box).

It’s not a complicated list, to be honest, but completing it is a measure more often of energy level rather than productivity, and I had completed all the items on my list for twelve straight days prior to yesterday, a streak that I had not achieved before in the eleven and a half months that I’ve been working with the checklist system.

Yesterday, however, I had a perfect storm of distractions that kept me from completing my list. I took a series of naps in the morning, in preparation for some in-person socialization last night. My wife and I welcomed two friends of ours into our home for an evening of “chili and shenanigans.” We chatted animatedly, we joked, we played three separate card games (Exploding Kittens, the game that took Kickstarter by storm earlier this year; Munchkin, the runaway hit from Steve Jackson Games that pokes fun at fantasy RPGs like Dungeons & Dragons; and finally Cards Against Humanity, which is very simply put a game for horrible people – if you’ve never heard of it, feel free to Google it, but be prepared … this is NOT a children’s game in any way, shape, or form). What I thought would be an evening lasting until around 10:00 or 10:30 finally wound down well past 1:00 am. We all had a great time and, as an added bonus, the (new) chili recipe was a big hit, with just enough heat to give a nice slow burn as you ate and plenty of good smoky flavor.

The trick is, I was anticipating the earlier time when I planned out my day, so I left some things until after the party broke up, and by that time, all I wanted to do was go to bed. So rather than stay up and exhaust myself for the sake of trying to keep the streak alive, I made the conscious decision to listen to my body, end the streak, and pick it up again either today or tomorrow.

Earlier this morning, I was having regrets. I was getting anxious about a perceived expectation that I was having about my friends and followers that were cheering me on with each passing day of perfection on my checklist, that not only had I let them down with the failure to continue the streak, but that I had to pick the streak back up immediately or I would disappoint everyone. (For those that don’t know, generalization and black-and-white thinking are extremely common in people with both BPD and bipolar disorder, and it’s something I struggle with during my rough periods, times that I can best describe my thinking as “irrational.”) I managed to stop and calm myself down fairly early in this process and for most of the rest of the day I’ve been saying “I’ll get to it if I get to it.” It won’t kill me to just take a day today to really de-stress and reset my energy level for a fresh start tomorrow, and besides, there’s no possible way that I could have continued the streak for much longer anyway. This week I have two days that I’m going to be socializing the whole day, and concentrating on a perfect checklist is going to likely go by the wayside in favor of the more spartan necessities version of my checklist, which consists of medications, vitals, and meals. Regular followers of my blog will know about one of these days; it’s the day that I’ve been preparing to recite a poem publicly, something that I used to do frequently in my historical re-enactment organization and haven’t done at all for over a year. The other is a very special day with even more importance for me than Poetry Day. My daughter will be in town for a few days visiting friends and we’ve scheduled a day to spend time together, and well, everything else that day is just going to have to take a back seat to that.

So all in all, it’s not a bad thing that the streak came to an end yesterday. I was doing something that I was enjoying for a good portion of the day and it was good preparation for the comparatively huge amount of socialization that I have in store this Saturday. It’s also not a bad thing that I take today off from stressing about getting everything done. Mentally, I could use a break from the pressure that I put on myself to DO ALL THE THINGS, to paraphrase Allie Brosh from Hyperbole and a Half. (If you haven’t read her blog, treat yourself to a few minutes of indulgence. Her writing is as funny as I’d like to be and just as poignant as it is hilarious. She’s one of my heroes for dealing with her own demons with grace and levity.)

And besides, the end of the streak just means I have an opportunity to prove that I can break it in the future.