It’s been yet another day of doing as little as I possibly can. I’ve spent a lot of time in Secret World Legends today doing PvP on my main character, trying to build resources up for a huge crafting project I’m working on. I’ve done some chores around the apartment, nothing too momentous but not quite nothing.
Tomorrow I start in earnest trying to prep for registering for school. There are some hoops that I have to jump through, as the payment arrangements must be on file at the time of registration and those payment arrangements are coming through Texas Workforce Commission. That’ll be two, maybe three phone calls I’ll need to make. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon, so all my productive time is going to have to be relegated to the morning. I’d like to start in on the program handbook – that’s a 65 page read and I hold no illusions that I’ll get it done in a day – but I don’t know if I’ll get to it.
Until I’m actually in classes, I’m trying to reserve my evenings for time with my wife. We enjoy spending time with one another and I want to maximize that while I still can. One class won’t take up the majority of my time, but a full class load will, and I need to start prepping for that.
So much to do. So little time to get it done in. So many hoops to jump through. I sometimes question if it’s worth it, if I’m ready for something this big. But I tend to respond in the affirmative. I’ve been working toward this goal for years, even though the goal was some vague declaration and not a clear plan until very recently. I’ve still been trying to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for being in school, especially full-time, and I think I’ve done a pretty good job of it.
I sometimes catch myself telling myself that I can’t do this, that I’m building this up to be an insurmountable challenge. I find myself saying that I don’t know what I’m doing. But I also almost immediately counter that with the fact that I may not know what I’m doing now, but that’s the point of going to school, to learn how to do this new career. The expectation is that I don’t have a clue. And true, I didn’t have a clue what’s expected of me for school up until last Thursday, but now I do, and now that I see it’s a fairly extensive list of prerequisites to get into the program, I’m telling myself that I’m up for the challenge. It will be a challenge, make no mistake of that. Health Sciences courses are intense for a reason. But I can do it. And I will do it.