A Rough Afternoon

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The usual activities of the day were interrupted this afternoon by a clash of symptoms between me and my wife. She was asking me if I knew a song that was going in our evening show, I said no and instinctively looked over at her laptop to see what song was playing, and that led her to tell me lightheartedly that she didn’t want me to look. I never heard the lighthearted part, what I heard was her being upset at me for spoiling the surprise, so naturally my first response was to apologize for ruining the song and to immediately start kicking myself for screwing things up. This led to things getting heated between us and as is our usual M.O. we both forgot what we were arguing about in favor of new things to argue back and forth. We managed to get calmed down and I went in the bedroom to do my learning for the day, and she very curtly let me know her displeasure with leaving. Turns out I hadn’t announced my intentions – I thought I had – and I was just up and leaving the room without saying anything. This led to more of a blowup, and finally I went into the bedroom and closed the door and started trying to get my learning done.

Try, being the operative word.

I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t concentrate, and one of the games that I excel at I failed four times in a row because I wasn’t paying any attention to what my choices were and just tapped my phone seemingly at random. This led my wife to come into the room and mention my continued failing, and that started a whole new argument that lasted longer than the one in the living room. We were both shouting, and I was as usual absolutely adamant that things go exactly the way that I was envisioning them, which made her dig her heels in more.

I don’t remember a lot of details, but she just would not let me take responsibility for starting the argument. Finally, after what seemed like hours, we agreed that we were each responsible for our part in the argument and that closed it down for good, but not before we were both absolutely pissed at ourselves for not having better control of ourselves in the situation.

We went on the air, apologized for not being our usual high-energy selves, and did the show. Tonight’s show took a little more out of me than shows usually do, and I’m quite tired. Can’t wait for bedtime.

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