Sleep Compromise

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Today is the first day of my wife’s new work schedule.

She’s had a lot of them, but most recently she’s been working 10 am-7 pm, a schedule that she’s had before and that worked out pretty well for us. Today she starts 7 am-4 pm, a move that will enable her to more readily find a therapist. So this is a long-term, more or less permanent change in her schedule.

My wife is not a morning person, it should be said.

I’ve changed with every one of her schedule changes, but this one I have not. I’m still up around 8:30 am or so to take my vitals and morning meds, I’m still going to bed around midnight or 1 am. But my wife will have long been to bed when I get there.

And that’s a weird feeling for me, someone who’s only rarely gone to bed at a different time than she does.

I like the feeling of cozying up to her for bedtime snuggles, and holding her while she drifts off to sleep. It’s a very comforting thing. But now I’m coming to bed some two and three hours after her, and waking up some three hours after she wakes, and it’s odd to me.

We’ve found a compromise, though. When it’s time for her to go to bed, I stop what I’m doing and go snuggle her for a little while, ideally until she’s asleep. Then I get back up and finish my day before coming to bed and snuggling some more.

It’s not a bad compromise, but it still feels a little weird to get up once she’s asleep. Last night my back started bothering me so I got up before she was asleep and got on my heating pad, something that could have happened any night regardless of when I would have gone to bed.

I hope this separate schedules thing works out in the long run. If not, I can always switch to her schedule – I’ve done it before. But I like staying up a little later, and I really don’t relish being up at 5:30 in the morning, either.

We’ll see how things shake out.

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