Yesterday ended on a sort of rough note. I accomplished everything that i was supposed to do yesterday, with the exception of watching an episode of Supernatural and exercising, and yet I felt this overpowering urge that I hadn’t done something yesterday. I felt antsy, hypercritical, and completely lost as to what I was experiencing. It was acting for all the world like a wave of panic about to crest and fall.
I tried distraction, and that just dropped that feeling down beneath the surface, so now instead of just feeling like I’d missed something, I felt like I was missing something and I was doing wrong by not putting my finger on what it was.
At various times last night I went around the apartment looking for something to do, but finding nothing, I kept on being fidgety. It wasn’t until my body very suddenly told me it was time for bed that I shook the feeling.
Until this morning.
I woke up this morning, not really fidgety, but determined to be productive, perhaps to make up for the perceived failings of the day before. And I have been. My to-do list today is long and involved and mostly done already. I’m almost where I should be at this point in my daily checklist, and I’m feeling pretty good about how today is going.
I don’t know where that feeling came from last night, but I’m pleased that I was able to stay rational about it, not let it get the best of me, and satisfactorily control it. I’d call that a win in my book.