I haven’t had a rational thought in a day and a half. I’ve barely gotten out of bed. I’ve given up on almost everything. And I can’t stop myself from metaphorically hitting myself while I’m down. Everything I feed to myself is self-hatred, everything I hear is negative, anything positive is a lie.
I can’t stop the cycle of self-punishment for something I did wrong to someone, somewhere, sometime, I don’t even know.
All I know is pain, all I feel is suffering. I just want it to end. And I can’t do anything but perpetuate it.