As I related yesterday, I’ve been given a new tool to try and center me in instances where I’m irrational or frozen (think fight/flight/freeze) and last night I had an opportunity to put it to the test.
Therapy was very rough on me yesterday. (I wrote about it in detail yesterday; be aware there are sexual assault triggers if you wish to read up.) By the time the evening rolled around I was tired and lonely and feeling exceptionally isolated – the perfect recipe for me to become both frozen and irrational.
I told my wife that I was in bad shape and she responded by asking me “what do you see/hear/smell/feel/taste?“ I responded the best I could, even interjecting humor into my responses (my sinuses were completely closed, I couldn’t smell a thing). And by the time we’d made it to the final question, I was feeling considerably better. I was still lonely, but I was registering the reality that she’d be off work and home soon, and the loneliness and isolation I felt were tolerable for that short period of time.
It’s only one test, but it worked beautifully.
The next step is going to be learning to ask myself those questions when I start down that path toward irrationality.