The Day After Crash


Well, I knew this was going to happen.

Yesterday was so emotionally charged with the Supreme Court decision that I was riding a high all day long. It took me a while to ease into going to bed.

So far today has been a series of ups and downs, both physically and mentally, and I can only blame my coming down from the excitement of yesterday. I’ve taken three naps as of this writing and estimate a fourth before show time tonight at 7:00 pm local time.

This is a pretty predictable pattern for me, to crash after such a highly emotional, positive day. It happens after SCA events when I go see people I haven’t seen in months or years, it happens after going to the theater to see a movie, and it happens after taking a trip out of town anywhere for any reason. Any time I have something positive happen outside the norm, there’s always a letdown the next day.

I’ve managed most of the things on my checklist, so at least I’m keeping up with that. But it’s wearing me out just to sit and read, so once I post this I’m likely going to lie down again, especially since shows often take a lot out of me. Today is a special “love wins” theme, so I’ll be even more “on” for that, which will wipe me out.

This crash, I’ve discovered, is pretty common in people who suffer from mental illnesses. The positive is a nice little high, and when the positive stops, the high goes away, and depression often sets in to take its place. If we could just fill our lives with those highs, maybe the depression would stay away for a while. Maybe that’s why so many people with mental illness wind up dual diagnosis (mental illness coupled with a drug or alcohol addiction, something I’ve been blissfully free of my entire life, which is why I can only speculate).

Knowing it’s going to happen doesn’t make it any easier. I’m physically and emotionally drained after yesterday and I need a quiet day to recover.

If you can’t tell from my profile picture at my blog’s homepage, I normally wear a Van Dyke beard and a shaved head. Over the past few months I’ve let my Van Dyke grow out and sometime in the past few weeks made the decision to let everything else grow out as well. I look unkempt, and it’s starting to affect my self-esteem. I don’t have the patience for it to grow out to the point it will look good, so to give me something to look forward to, I’m going to wrap up this post and go shave everything but the Van Dyke, and maybe get my wife to shape that up as well, since if I try to shape it up I’m going to wind up with facial hair that looks like it was designed by Salvador Dali.

And if you’re (un)lucky, I might even post a pic when I’m done.