I haven’t written since Saturday morning. Over the weekend, that was a decision to take the weekend and just chill out, not worrying about anything but my medications. I needed the time. I also wanted to take the time to spend with my wife, who started a new work schedule Monday.
I’m used to her working days. She’s been training on this new job from 9 am-6 pm, and that’s been all fine and good. But her shift is 2-11 pm, and that started on Monday.
I don’t do change well, especially changes in my eating and sleeping schedule. It’s not a big change, only a couple hours shift later in waking time, but the big difference is when my wife is home with me. I’m used to her being out of the house during the part of the day that it’s light outside and doesn’t feel so lonely, and having her at home with me during that part of the evening when it’s getting dark and people are starting to go to bed. Now that’s flip-flopped, and I’m alone as it gets dark and lonely. The later in the evening it is, the harder it is for me to keep negative thoughts at bay. (For those that follow my blog and have mental illnesses such as depression or bipolar disorder, do you find that to be the case for you as well, that the later it gets, the harder it gets? Let me know in the comments or over on Facebook or Twitter if that’s where you get my feed from.)
The end result is that the first two nights of her being out of the house in the evenings has resulted in minor breakdowns both nights. Going to try and be strong tonight and remind myself that it’s not all night; plus, she’s coming home for dinner at 7, and that will help break up the loneliness.
Does anyone have any suggestions for something I can do to keep that feeling of isolation at bay, especially in a situation where I’m stuck here at the house while she has our car? I’d appreciate it.